- Life Coaching
- Ritual and Magic
“I promise to make you so alive that the fall of dust on furniture will deafen you” ~ Nina Cassian, Romanian Poet
I am a true believer in “positive therapy,” that much of the work allows space for all of the positive aspects of ones life to really ground perspective in the whole of ones being. I also encourage clients to develop a gratitude practice; I find this truly can change lives and literally re-wire our brain chemistry. Often times there is a lot of suffering and anger which needs to be moved through before one can begin a gratitude practice or truly immerse in mindfulness, and that is a healthy process of unfolding. I am always holding the highest positive intention and potential for my clients and their growth. And when clients are ready, I encourage people to look at heroes and heroines in their lives to help them embody those great archetypes that take us out ourselves, our “stories,” and into the greater picture and possibilities of our lives. We become the Heroes and Heroines of our own journey. Nelson Mandela is one of my great heroes…
“Forgiveness liberates the soul. It removes fear. That is why it is such a powerful weapon.” ~ Nelson Mandela
My Musings on Therapy
The stories of our lives are present and accessible at any given moment. With attention and care, emotions from past traumatic experiences can be worked with in the safety of a contained therapeutic environment. Together in mindfulness we can unravel areas in your life that are keeping you from living in your full authenticity, passion, purpose and fulfillment in all aspects of your life. When we have faced and moved through blocks that may be holding us back, we are able to traverse our life’s journey and truly discover a sense of “home” within ourselves.
I view therapy as sacred profound work, an Alchemy for the Soul. It is the practice of sharing one’s inner life with another, one’s hopes and dreams, fears, sorrow, loss, anger and rage, secrets, fantasies, joy, delights, repulsions, “sins”, accomplishments, failures and so much more. In the telling of our stories and being held in unconditional regard and love, we are transformed.
Therapy can offer the experience of picking up the missing pieces of our lives, creating ourself anew. Healing old wounds and trauma. Celebrating our victories. Mapping out our next big steps in life. Learning how to slow down… or speed up in life. One of the most important things that therapy can offer, I believe, is the experience of being seen or met in ways that have been missed before either by parents and other loved ones. We can take a pause on life in therapy and look at a situation with a different lens, and playing with little experiments help us to better understand “what happened.” And we can even do something different, re-write the script. In this “pause” and “re-play” we can experience in real time what may have worked better and that begins to re-wire our brain in positive ways. This is often referred to as “The Missing Experience.” Ron Kurtz, founder of Hakomi, speaks about the Missing Experience in this interview.
“Therapy” is different with everyone, there is not one straight path that fits all. It’s a journey, like the labyrinth… like life. We co-create as client and therapist what tools to take on that journey, how long we want the journey to be, what sights we want to make certain we see… or maybe we don’t want to plan our adventure at all and be delightfully surprised. Sometimes we may work with the Tarot, art, dreams, images and often I support clients with ritual. Whatever the journey may be, one moves more deeply into who they truly are by walking this path with a witness; trust and feeling truly seen allows an unfolding deeper into authenticity.
When we come from our authentic selves and feel full permission to be exactly who we are, our true Self, everything else seems to fall into place. The relationships we want come forward, our life begins to feel more fulfilling, all that doesn’t serve us falls away, sometimes by chance, sometimes by choice… sometimes by Divine Intervention.
If there was one theme I could say resonates with each of my clients, it is the desire to be a little more touchable, a little more free… a deep longing to trust and share that tender place inside with others, be seen and be loved for who they are…. to truly be oneself. John Welwood, psychotherapist and co-author of, the Sacred Mirror, states that becoming oneself “involves appreciating yourself as a being in process, continually uncovering your true gifts and embodying them in the flowing current of time, relatedness, and action. We could call this the True Person. Only the true person can be intimate, can relate in an intimate way to other people and to life itself.”
I would expand to say that it also means being at home in ones body and in the company of other bodies. Each of us wants to experience a sense of comfort in our own skin. We long to connect with others, to play and laugh, it’s in our nature, we’re mammals. We are warm and fuzzy, soft and cuddly. And like other mammals we also have defense mechanisms: the nervous laugh or smile, the too cool or tough guy, intellectualizing and more. These human defenses are equivalent to our fellow mammals’ fangs and claws, the stink of a skunk or the quills of a porqupine. All say keep away. Don’t touch that tender place inside.
We also learn to adapt to our environment, much like a chameleon in the jungle. We make adaptations in our personality to please family, friends, lovers, teachers. We put on different masks for the various roles we play in our life. A few of my personal favorites are: smart Berkeley hippie chic, fierce man-hating feminist, Homebirth Earth Mama, … you get the idea. These could be called our personas. Sometimes we lose ourselves in these personas, the masks. We suffer losses. We contract, hesitate, stop. We lose touch with our true passion. This is when most clients come to us, in a state of uncertainty, seeking guidance, comfort, wisdom, so many things, often seeking permission just to be themselves.
Take my hand, we’ll go on an archeological dig and uncover the beautiful pieces of your Self just waiting to be discovered and illuminate your Life.
“We do not grow absolutely, chronologically. We grow sometimes in one dimension, and not in another; unevenly. We grow partially. We are relative. We are mature in one realm, childish in another. The past, present, and future mingle and pull us backward, forward, or fix us in the present. We are made up of layers, cells, constellations.” ~ Anais Nin
* Photo Credit, Andrew Keller